you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
