i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize