No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
