Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
