What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So. Much. Porn.
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