It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he thought i was a dude.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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