just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
