Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
