You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
