I CAN MOONWALK!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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