You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
