Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
