Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize