let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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