You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
