I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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