Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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