We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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