this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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