Jerry, you need to find god
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
