idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
