meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
