I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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