considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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