whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
