If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
