We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize