New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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