I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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