so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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