I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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