Porn is love you can see.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
