just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
That's when you crack a 10am beer
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
