I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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