drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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