I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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