i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
