OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
