I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
