I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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