Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
