She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
