why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
