Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
