I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
