I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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