so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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