we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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