Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
