So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
