My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize