What did we do last night that was yellow?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
