did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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