you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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