You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
