why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we have officially lost it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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