Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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