Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
