I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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