I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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