i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
