3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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