i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
