Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
