My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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