weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
